I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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