remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
time to smoke my breakfast
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We don't watch enough power rangers
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
