dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
