My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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