We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
