I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
