Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
