is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
