Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
