i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
