Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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