if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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