I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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