it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
