Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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