You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
