Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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