And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
