Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
