from now on my penis is your penis
she woke up with a sticky ear
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
