After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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