If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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