At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
