I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
