So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
