Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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