he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
