Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
