tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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