I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
