Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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