My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
