just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
