she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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