He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
