Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
