I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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