weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She announced her abortion via fbk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
