her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
