2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
