Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
