Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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