I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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