Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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