I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
