Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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