no. you can't hotbox the world.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
