PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
