hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
