I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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