Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
