we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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