she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
