apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
