I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
