Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
