Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
