Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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