i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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