And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
