I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it's like heaven, but drunker
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
