did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize