words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
