she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize