Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
