So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
