hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
