when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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