Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
