oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
