omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pants 0. Shit 1.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
