You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
