im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
