wat bout pragnant strippers??
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
